“It was my father who taught me to value myself.”

                                                                       --- Dawn French

This is the time of year when we honor or reflect on our relationships with our parents. First, our mothers-who seem to get all the praise-then our fathers- who often seem content with a nod of approval. This Father’s Day, I would like to take a moment to reflect on the relationship I’ve had with my father. 

There are so many things to say, but as I’m sitting here with him quietly listening to the birds in our back yard- I realize it’s the peace that he brings me. I believe that this is what I cherish most about him! He’s brought this to me my entire life.  His wisdom, his constancy, his always being there. Not a lot is said about those qualities. It’s usually the flashy, or loud, or famous, or rich that are idolized in our society. Not my dad! He showed a father’s quiet love. The best way to describe it is to compare it to the soft flowing river, that over time, gently smooths the hardest rock. A father’s soft, quiet love can shape a child’s world!

The security and confidence that is brought to a child by a father’s constant, quiet love is immeasurable! He has been my rock through the years and an example of how I wanted to be! I believe I unknowingly followed in his footsteps. Only later, in my adult life did I truly recognize this truth.

My earliest memories of my dad were ones of pure joy. Jumping off the swing and shouting “Daddy’s Home!!” come to mind. You see, my dad just so happens to be a teacher-like me!! So, he would often be home earlier than most dads, but then he’d be off to another job later that evening. He was often working other jobs to support his family of four. Therefore, when he was home, it was a joy. He often did all the jobs around the house. He fixed our cars and was a “Jack of all trades”.  Some of my friend’s fathers gave expensive gifts to their families, but my dad couldn’t do that. But he did give of himself and his time. He managed to be there for all my sports events and to drive me to school when I was in high school. Not surprisingly, I married a man just like that.

“He never looks for praises.

He’s never one to boast.

He just goes on quietly working

for those he loves the most.”

                                 ---Karen K. Boyer

My father is always kind! To everyone! He never belittles and often sees the positive in difficult situations.  This is why teaching was the perfect occupation for him.  He taught high school Social Studies for 34 years! He was an amazing teacher-as I had the honor of being his student.  Years later, his former students would show up at his door to invite him to their reunions. There they shared not only stories of his inspirational teaching, but also his persistence in keeping some of them on the right path.  What he did for so many of his students was relayed to us in our encounters with them all the time.   

Years ago, when we had our trees trimmed, the owner happened to be a former student of my dad’s. He enthusiastically retold stories of his time in my dad’s class. He has since returned asking about my father’s well-being. Recently, a neighbor stopped by after he realized that my dad was the same man who was his favorite teacher! He gushed about how my father had inspired him to be a teacher. He even was quoted in an article where he mentioned my father as “the best teacher I ever had!” He wanted my dad to know how he impacted his life!

Even during my teaching career, I would encounter his former students as parents of my current students. When they realized that I was his daughter, they would simply state that he was an amazing teacher. These experiences would fill me with pride and inspire me to be the best that I could be!

These accolades of his teaching were expressed by his peers as well. Many were captivated by his quiet accomplishments, and they often looked to him for leadership.

My father is now a full-time caregiver to his wife of 57 years. He has done this selflessly for many years and quietly remains positive about a devastating prognosis. He plugs along with little concern for his own well-being and just wants everyone to be okay.

As the years went on and I came to the end of my teaching career (25 years after he retired), our professional lives would intertwine one last time. While the retirees were being honored at a board meeting, one member proceeded to recognize my father, who was there to honor my retirement.  He stood up and recalled how my dad had been his cooperating teacher and had inspired him to be a teacher just like my dad.

So, it’s easy to see how my father quietly impacted so many lives- including his daughter’s life–MY LIFE! He has been a marvelous teacher and example of a “good person” to his grandsons. As he helped me reach my full potential, I hope I’ve done the same for others!  The pebble will continue to cause ripples in the stream of life. Thank you, Dad!