Long before handheld video games and smartphones were the rage, most children would moan and groan on long car trips, asking, "Are we there yet?" Not me. I was thrilled to ride shotgun in our 1960 Volkswagen Beetle, cruising down the highway with my mom behind the wheel. This was our special time, and during every long trip, we would sing nonstop the songs she had taught me during previous road trips. It wasn't often that we would jump in the Bug to visit family or friends - but when we did, oh what a time it was. We were two carefree girls on the open road, belting out show tunes, ballads, and '60s pop songs.

Those were the memories I clung to when I arrived home after school and let myself into our apartment to wait alone until Mom returned from work. We'd been on our own from the time I was an infant, and although peace, love, and rock 'n roll were the themes of the '60s, our neighborhood was still in the Leave It to Beaver era. So I was very aware of the differences between our family unit and others in our town as my mom took on the roles my friend's moms didn't need to: sole breadwinner, mother, and father. It wasn't until much later that I understood my mother's challenges and the sacrifices she was willing to make to be the best mom she knew how to be.

“That's the wonderful thing about mothers: you can because you must, and you just do.”   ~ Kate Winslet

Going through childhood, our mothers are just that: our mothers. They occupy a place in our world that is unique and absolute. For most of us, this sense starts so early and is so fundamental to our worldview that we seldom question it. Like those who knew my mom, I saw the image she presented on the outside: the stylish woman, a genuine fashion maven with her tailored coats, monochromatic color combinations, and pillbox hats. But as I grew up, I learned more about the person she was before me—the life she abandoned to fulfill the above-mentioned roles. A life I perceived to have been much more exciting than many other moms, which included:

• A magazine model

• A roller derby girl and

• A bluegrass singer on tour with the then-famous Earl Scruggs!

I always knew I had a cool mom - a strong, independent thinker and a warrior of sorts, but this shed a whole new light on my already eclectic view. I suspect she never anticipated taking on the role of a single mom, as I am sure she imagined a more glamorous life for herself, the life she had been gearing up to embrace. However, she took the role of a mother very seriously and continually worked to improve our living situation.  

“To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow.” ~ Maya Angelou

As we get older, we occasionally catch a glimpse or register the thought that there is another dimension to the person who nurtured us. Who washed and kept us clean, patched us up, nursed us, fed us soup when sick, helped with homework, and listened to our woes and heartbreaks. But in all likelihood, such awareness is often fleeting.

As in my mother's case, sadly, that facet of their personalities is often put on hold while they assume that more than human, less than human role of mother.

Most mothers are fortunate enough not to outlive their children. And only as our mothers' lives recede into the past do the questions bubble up. She has been and always will be our mother, but behind the construct, the edifice of "mother-ness," who was she?  

It is ironic that for many of us, the person without whom we simply would not be, and arguably, whose influence on and contribution to our lives has been so all-enveloping, often remains, to some degree, a mystery.

My mother passed from this world many years ago. I feel I know quite a lot about her, yet there is so much that remains opaque. There are so many questions that I would love to put to her, and I wish I had taken the time to discover more. This is a regret that I know I share with many people of my generation. How dearly we would love to know how our mothers truly felt about their lives; how they dealt with the pressures of the time and culture they inhabited. But roles and relationships are not static. Nowadays, relationships between parents and their children allow for more openness than in the past. As a result, a healthy and natural transmission of thoughts and ideas between generations is probably much easier in the 21st century than it has ever been before. 

So, on this Mother's Day, celebrate the women who bring life to the world every day. These women reveal another side of themselves as they become mothers. They share their love and commitment as they navigate one of the most challenging and rewarding roles life offers. Take time today to learn the mysteries of the women in your life and show your appreciation for who they are in their entirety.

“Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.” ~ Barbara Kingsolver